Honestly… I’m not sure what to do with this blog lately.
I have ideas, but I rarely sit down to write anymore. And the posts I have started just end up saved as drafts. Something always stops me from finishing and hitting that publish button.
Sometimes it’s just the busyness of life. It usually takes me a while to write and there have been plenty of partial posts that were interrupted when nap time ended or when things came up that were necessary to accomplish.
But other times… well, lately there’s something else that holds me back.
This may sound strange, given that I shared so much so openly after Faith was born, but I feel less inclined to put myself out there these days.
There are things I’ve read and things I’ve seen in the day to day that make me value my privacy, and that of our family, more and more. Nothing dramatic has happened, it’s simply me grappling with the way that social media and this world of the internet impacts society and individual lives.
I’m also not sure where my niche is anymore.
Before Faith was born I blogged just for the fun of it. An assortment of random stuff, from recipes to vacations to funny stories that happened at home. Some things were deeper and more significant, but for the most part it was whatever I felt like sharing.
After Faith was born this blog became much more serious. Looking back I am so thankful for this space where I could sort through the process of grief and hopefully provide comfort and hope to others that might walk a similar road. I like the meaning that those posts held. I like the spiritual depth that was often a primary focus.
But now… I feel torn between writing about the day to day happenings or trying to really hone in on things that have deeper significance.
I tend to over analyze many things in general, and I guess I’m doing that with this blog. Even now, as I type these words, I wonder if I’m making any sense and if it’s worth putting these thoughts out there.
I’m going to though, because I feel bad about leaving things quiet for so long.
I hate to feel like I’m letting people down and sometimes I wonder if I am when I don’t write here. Silly, I know, but it crosses my mind.
Honestly, at the end of all this rambling, what I want you to know is this… whatever I end up doing next with this blog and however long it takes to sort things out, I am thankful to you for coming along on this journey with me.